The pain of the Edit.

First it makes me tremble, and that is just the word. Arranging the letters in such a way that Pain is spelled.  E, the letter of my first name, my handle my given chosen title. Painless and some would think comforting. But it takes it’s place firmly in the front of Evil.

D, alone is a usefull letter, a letter that delivers; dreamy imaginings. Then danger and destruction come crashing to mind, not so innocent now.

Add an I,  into the mix, the all seeing, sneeky peeping; I.  Straight like a sharp stick to jab me with. Poking and prodding me forward; until i teeter on the edge of the precipise.

T, alone, T can soothe and comfort me,  placate  and cajole me. When buffered up to the end of the collection of letters. T stops being innocent, it makes the letters read as a word. The word that is there to terrify, and maybe even ruin me; or at least my first born. T, torturous terrifying and Tempestuous.

I have to move my baby forward, so it is fit for purpose, dressed correctly and presented in the best possible way to the world. But this one word holds me back, makes me procrastinate. Words that excite and pleasure me have now become my enemy.

One chapter at a time; I tried. Too much, the bile reached my lips and pain dug into my head. A page, I can do a page I told my self; I was being ridiculous. I have perspiration  plopping on to the pages from my fingertips. This really shouldn’t  be this hard, but it is. A sentence, I will do this one sentence  at a time , and rest or walk or something in between. A word at a time is downright ridiculous,  but the pain and dread is palpable.  There must be something I can do, something to stop me having this… Pain.

The Painful Edit.

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16 thoughts on “The pain of the Edit.

  1. Maybe take some time from this manuscript and write something else? I can’t chop up “my baby”, so creating a new story can give you that emotional distance needed to make the hard changes.
    Then again, if you just hate editing, well you’ll just have to forge ahead!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. why is it assumed that if you write, you can edit? We probably shouldn’t edit our own work anyway, don’t we risk making all the mistakes we made in the first place?
    I think we writers should form groups, to edit and proofread each others work. I’m up for that, how about you?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the superb idea, and the re blog. When you have finished the fifty six thousand words , the words that have been trying to escape for years; “is one if a fit state to Edit?”.

      Like

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