She Was Small But She Was Fierce “Where did I Go”?

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“Sometimes I wonder how we did the things we did.
A smaller version of me climbed trees to scrump apples, ran so fast the wind couldn’t ruffle my hair, made a collage, painted a scene; art fit for a gallery. Was it me at all?”

Others built warships from balsa wood, and painted soldiers ruby red, danced with satin laced shoes and some learned needlepoint, or pricked seams to craft a frock.
Boys with hair grips showed us how to pick a lock. Riding the handlebars of wonky wheeled bikes, proud on a stage with squealing mic’s that didn’t spoil what I would sing or say, that self took it in her stride and did it anyway.

I championed the underdog and put playground bullies in their place; mostly with my tongue, because in my head it was the right thing to do. After such a scene I’d maybe come off worse and cry like a sop, but I’d get up with a skip and a hop and carry on undeterred, lesson learned but sometimes a gentle soul saved.

Mostly I have done what I thought was right, at least in the guise of my smaller self I believe I did. My need to talk and tell a tale stayed as did the ability to hold time still with words. My wordy thing didn’t escape nor the tears, the ones that flow shamelessly at a nasty word, or a sad film, or brought on by the pages of a book. I was and am a crier it is the part of me that exposes my underbelly.

“When did the courage to leap dissipate? When did I begin to hesitate, or worry what other people thought?” I am still that girl, I am older, taller (not much) heavier than I once was, which I suppose slows your pace. Now i have wisdom on my side, but I think it through first and the moment has gone. I wonder what others would think if I gave him a piece of my mind … the boy who kicked his Mother in the supermarket, or the teenagers shoving a child at the bus stop. When did the fear of me being hurt get in the way of what I know was the right thing to do? These hesitations, or lack of finishing, the things that once you would not have given a second thought to; they bother me.

writers quote wednesday writing challenge

This was inspired by Writers qoute Wednesday Thank you Ronovon and Coleen
Please do visit and read other interpretations of wisdomΒ press to do so thank you.

My Shakespeare Quote made me think outside of the norm I really hope you like it.

We grow and allow insecurities and media hype get in the way of what was seen once as ” putting someone in their place.” We had an unspoken respect for people, those who without violence pulled you up, put you right. We are a society of people scared to use freedom of speech, we turn the other cheek, don’t look it will go away. I want to be that fearless girl, who takes a knock or two for standing up for others. I want my smaller fearless self back.

This post, some would say is the indulgent outpourings of my mind, and on that note I don’t expect much in the way of responses but if you do… if you feel, we as individuals have left something behind; along with our childhoods, and you like me wish it hadn’t gone; then tell me. Or maybe I am… the only one?

Picture was loaned from pixaby. Thank you a free resource that is greatly appreciated.

 

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29 thoughts on “She Was Small But She Was Fierce “Where did I Go”?

  1. We loose something as we age, not just speed and flesh but inner rage and bravado. I’m glad you stand your ground and never be pushed around. Your presence here amongst the pages of my blog thrills me and please come for a stroll and a read when ever you’ve a mind to. πŸ˜‡ happy Weekend Shellie.

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  2. I used to climb trees, roller skate, and ride on the pegs of my brothers bike. I would also ride Rollercoasters. I’m afraid of heights now. I just don’t get why these things went to the wayside… I’m getting better at sticking up for myself and others.

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  3. I think that you can see that you are not the only one that feels this way. I love your writings..it is obvious you write from the heart! Funny…just before finding your blog, I reread something I have saved for many years titled “Official Adult Resignation” by an unknown author. It speaks to me, as do your words. I would like to be that child once more!

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  4. I thought I’d tie toe a while in your garden! We share a lot of similarity. I, too, was small but feisty, the fierce champion of the weak. I was also the girl who intended to show the boys that girls were as smart and fast, and heaven help the person who didn’t know their stuff but puffed themselves up as an expert, lording it over others. I would find the facts and verbally slice and dice their egoism. I like to think, once life taught me some lessons, I learned balance. When I left teaching for social work, I ran a group for abused women. Often, as they became empowered, some would become reactive to any abuse, the smallest slight. We focused a lot on assertiveness. On standing up for ourselves and others, without some of the aggression I know doubt used as a child. To me that is balance and wisdom…less free perhaps, less feisty and invincible even, but still strong, not a doormat. So since I taught to others, to not be a hypocrite, I at least strive to live that way. Yet, if I am honest, I, too, can look with regret back at the wild free girl of my youth with wistful longing. BTW loved the picture…I use Pixaby but hadn’t seen it. Gorgeous! Now, back to work for me…have a great weekend, as well!

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    • Hi Joan it has been far to long for that I apologise, but I just found your response ten months since you popped in and left me your wonderful response. You strive to live an honest life and help others see their worth. I commend you for that. I just try to be the best me that i can. Please forgive the late reply and come again soon.😘

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  5. She is still there, sitting in the tree, waiting for you to join her and to look out over the world. The ability to stand up for the “little ones” who have no voice is one of the greatest gifts ever given. Loved your post.

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  6. What a fabulous outpouring of your thoughts about wisdom. It seems like the world is possessed by violence and anger against everything lately. I see no reason we cannot say reasonable things to one another without inciting violent disagreements. There are so many “labels.” If you are this, that means you believe this… most times that is the furthest from the truth. People have become judgmental. I want to be more compassionate. I hope I can achieve that goal. ❀

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  7. Your kind of childhood reminds me of “Scout” in “To Kill a Mockingbird” so spontaneously and lovely. I was very much on my own, was never bored, but insecure in groups. Little by little I am regaining the lost now so many years after childhood. One thing that has helped me is blogging about my life and experiences to be more brave and spontaneous in meetings with people live or online. Thank you for sending me your link Ellen

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  8. I’d say its ok to stand up for what is right though sometimes the fear of what others would say gets in the way. But how else can we keep good behavior and practice alive when we get silent.So i am reminded that it is ok to stand up for what is right even if it is not politically correct. Thanks for sharing Ellen.

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  9. We were different people then. We saw things without the encumbrance of what ifs and what abouts. There wasn’t much grey shading. As we get older we have to do more for ourselves, fight our corner, watch other people fighting theirs and things don’t look quite so black or white. Maybe it’s for the best. You were obviously a caped crusader type of kid and took the morally right side in an argument, many are the nasty bully kind, and I like to think that something in the adult world might change them too but for the better.

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    • Thank you for this I considered my self ( and still do) more a unicorn. Full of magic and wonder. Ahh! through the eyes of children. You are so right and I hope I still would not be afraid to politely, quietly, say my piece. Any one who knows me should know, if I go quiet and speak quietly I am damned mad so watch out. Thank you for your input today.

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  10. I think the nature of violence in the world has caused everyone to become guarded about standing up and expressing their opinions. The world used to be more respectful of difference of viewpoints. Now it seems if you are not with me, I am going to annihilate you is the thought. When I was young I walked in civil rights marches and feminist right marches and never saw the abuse that I am witnessing right now. That being said, a person does need to take a stand. Miss your contributions at the Salon.

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    • I will be back Bernadette, I did the thousand e mail stop, and it is better to control just how many I get, but I miss out on wonderful reminders, like your blog waving me to join in. All or nothing it seems, but I will sort it. Your comments give me a way back though. *smiles*
      I agree with all you say on my post, but it is sad that we loose something in the process of being politically correct, and getting older. A peer voicing her strong opinion on your (metaphorically speaking) bad behaviour would or could have prevented him/her from becoming a bully. ” Alas” another child wouldn’t be allowed to do that, or would be advised not to at any rate to refrain from doing so. Thanks again for reading, bye for now.

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