press here to join in the friday fictioneers prompt at Rochelle’s place.picture courtesy of Peter Abbey.
Me n Tommy sucking gob stoppers, mouths so full we had to slurp to keep spit from dribbling. We looked down the end of the walkway, I wiggled stepping from foot to foot as if needing a pee. Tommy stuck his chin out and wiped the green slime that hovered above his lip with his sleeve. I watched the shining trail transfixed. Hoping that he didn’t do that boy thing of rubbing it in my hair. “Well Eddie we as to be brave” *slurp* We fixed our gaze on the end of the path, grabbed each others hand and ran like the wind.
My story is of bravery, the first time kids venture into what they think is a scary place, the loyalty the unblinking friendship, do we keep that as adults ?
What do you think? I’d love your thoughts leave me them and I’ll answer soonest. 😇
I loved this very much.
❤
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Then I am pleased I left it here to rest. 😇 Thank you.
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Another good one reminds me of my brother and I walking home from school. Very good. 😄😄😄💜
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Aww! I love to wake memories and find new readers so thank you. 😇
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Me too. It’s always nice to think of the younger years lol 🤗🤗🙃
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You have a gift for drawing the reader into the scene with just a few spot on details. I’d love to see what you do with a longer work.
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I plop poetry short story and flash fiction here, i find it a good way to learn & hone my craft. Thanks for your visit and comments. Please do come back and read some more.😇
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Just thinking ahead to buying your novel. 🙂
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Follow me follow
walk in my shoes
who knows
you could be my Muse.
You are fun come back soon!
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My about page explains 😆
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You captured the scene perfectly and took me back, way back.
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Oh good i love waking memories.😇
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Reblogged this on Kate McClelland and commented:
Hahaha it reminded me of when I was little and the kids ran feral in the local park. All grubby jumpers and snotty noses and skinned knees and 1000 layer gobstoppers!
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Like pyramids they were… It’s great when a few nicely placed words open up abox of memories. Thank you Kate.
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You have away of describing the actions of your characters in such a unique way. I haven’t read anything about spit in a long while lol (or probably never)
Either way your writing was good! Nice job!
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Nothing more authentic than a gob on the path of life. 😇 please come have a look around sometime soon. 👋👋👋
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Will do
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Dear Ellen,
Very visual piece. I could hear them and see them…even taste the gobstopper. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I am thrilled you like it and to have a go.
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This reminded me of Stephen King’s Stand By Me.
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Wow what a compliment! 😇 you can come again😘
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Wonderful description of sucking gobstoppers
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I could taste them *slurp* there never was an elegant way to eat them was there. 😇
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That, completely satisfyingly and completely immersively, summons the world of two children
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Thank you for taking the time 😇 *whispers* come again soon 😉
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I think my sister and I ventured down scary trails together.
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I wonder who was the bravest… I am glad it reminded you, memories are majical. 😇
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This is great we are changing lives one by one. As the WordPress Family connect, I would love for you to check out my blog leave a comment. (Share,Tweet, Broadcast; just let someone know.)
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Good luck to you and your friend, thank you for commenting today.
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I could see little kids here… and hear them laughing like crazy when they got out.
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Thank you for coming and you are right. 😇
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