For The Longest Moment.

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For the longest moment the world stopped, the air became thick and the branch creaked. I watched the legs twitch as urine ran freely from the bottom of his trousers, there was a splash from the shoe that flipped and bounced off the lawn.

Not a sound could be heard inside our home, until the tick and click of the boiler the quiet roar that still makes me flinch today. I didn’t play with dolls after that, sudden noises made me jump, made Mummy cry and our house sad. That one thing dirtied our garden and spoiled our beautiful tree. My childhood was no more, that single day changed our world, and stole my Dad.

This is a hard subject to cover and I did not undertake it lightly. It is a fictional story and any likeness to any actuality is coincidental. Thanks to the daily prompt for leaving the word “Tree. press tree to read many more great stories. I first wrote this for a literary competition one that asked you to write the uncomfortable, this was short listed and I think worth another look.

Have you tackled a difficult piece of fiction? do you tread where your heart would never wish to go? Was this believable? Please leave a comment I will respond at speed, thank you and remember it is a story. 😇💘💕

50 thoughts on “For The Longest Moment.

  1. I love it, it is very believable! Honestly, I’ve never tackled a piece of fiction at all. Everything I write is non-fiction because I find it easier to write. Maybe I should take the challenge and try out some fiction writing. 😉

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  2. I like that a lot Ellen. It is believable. I tackle all subjects 😄😛I have a day like that and life was never the same 2 of them actually. Much healing has taken place. 😄😄

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      1. I think stretching is definitely good although I have to admit it can be painful at times when we get out of our comfort zone. But good stuff usually comes from
        It I’ve found. 🤗🤗

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  3. I loved this piece, it is sensitive and seen through the child`s eyes. Beautifully done. I have covered death, disease, abuse, genocide and other things in my books and have always drawn from past experience of myself and others to try and be realistic but yet keep it within the formats of the story.

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    1. When you challenge your skills… as with writing I believe if it didn’t fight it’s way out it probably was best left in. Empathy is a must, and being able to tap in to what the character would be feeling leaves an authentic voice. Your reading and commenting is appreciated thank you.

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  4. I’ve written about suicide, infanticide and incest, all troublesome but better to try and do it with clarity and accuracy than feel too much emotion I think. It’s not easy.

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  5. I used to counsel grieving children and a clear understanding of death, especially a parent’s suicide, came only with time, clarity increasing with each passing age. For the young, it was a dragon in the basement, guilt for moments of joy, fear of the wrong move. You captured it beautifully through the child’s eyes. Incredibly moving, Ellen. Superbly done.

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