Beneath The Deep

He finished his book, watched the moon glow red on the day. With closed eyes, he inhaled … as if in a dream. A flash, then he falls away.

Into the deep, his arms like tentacles flap as if he’s waving goodbye. There’s panic, an unheard scream, bubbles bursting towards the sky.

Down in the grime the muck and the slime beside the hull of an upturned boat, Protrude oars, like arms reaching out … as if to get ahold of his throat.

An eel comes to look at the boy with a book, who into the water was spilt.Who struggles and fights, his legs disturbing the silt.

Deep he plunges, the light disappears in a mist. Like angelic detritus he floats, intoxicated with heavenly bliss.

The dark clears, a nymph beckons with barely a flick of her wrist. A wisp of a thing lures him deep. Her face he tenderly kissed.

He’s now way below,
Where tides

ebb and flow.

And dreams

Reappear

With

The

Fish.

This re worked piece gets a second chance as I attempt to capture something new.

Did my foray into fantasy work? Answers will be most welcome *waves*

39 thoughts on “Beneath The Deep

  1. This was really good! I love writing that can make you feel certain emotions with fewer words, this made me feel a sense of panic and wonder at the same time. I really enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Exciting right off the bat as he struggles. But also scary! And then you somehow realize part way through his struggles are weakening, “not even a flick of his wrist” some creature down below and then he’s gone just floating. But perhaps, (I get the feeling) in the end, there is some kind of peace in death. Well written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you Grace, it doesn’t seem to have been received as well by my readers. I was toying with deleting it. But both you and I like it so I will leave it here. People can’t like everything we write… Can they. Now I am smiling so thank you foryour comments.

      Like

    1. Halibut oh dear now i will have to look it up, you and your ‘ try it it’s simple’ i have heard before *scratches head*. Ha ha my predictive text spelled it Halibut not laughed so much in ages.

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          1. The haibun is a short piece of prose that you can make as lyrical as you like (suits me fine πŸ™‚ ) and you end it with a haiku that reflects your prose. Haiku doesn’t have to be syllable rigid. It’s Japanese after all, not English. Just a short three-liner image. Go on. Try it.

            Liked by 1 person

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