Today, is due day for my daughters first baby. As a Mother of some grown up children myself; I have done this from a different angle. *eyes water at memories* I know, due days are often not met … like trains, busses and planes; some are on time, others not so much. My daughter has been and is a wonderful Aunt to four nieces under four and two nephews 12 and 13. Her brothers will vouch for the wonder of Aunt Lisa.

So, my nail biting began a few days ago. This is where the true “let them go” has to be as painful as when she moved out to uni.

Empty nesting; though I missed her, was where I got to see if I had successfully raised an independent young woman; one that would thrive in the world. I had and did and patted my back ‘Good job.’ That was between silent moments of abject fear. Wanting to drag her back, hold her tight and wield off any baddy who dared to upset my baby girl, with every minuscule breath I had.

Today is another test. I must wait, stand back, allow my son-in-law to do the things that they both need him to do. As he is great husband and smashing friend to my girl; I trust him implicitly. But, do I want to be there holding her hand? taking her pain away? Laughing, crying with her, when they wrap that darling bundle and put it in her arms. One hundred percent I do.

But I won’t, I will wait until I am invited to see them, until I meet the infant and check out his or her face, count the toes and fingers. I will smell the scent of purity, innocence and grandchild. My place will be to show patience and restraint. But it feels as hard as letting her go the first time. *Blows nose* well hopefully I will do better when the moment actually comes. Emotional mess comes to mind … Now I wasn’t expecting that. *wipes eyes. 😁😂😢 I am letting her go as good Mums do.

I thank Pixabay for the image of toes and ask

“Is this just me having a not so private melt down? Is psychiatry required?” Just shake me in form of a comment … I obviously am in dire need. … Pass the handkerchiefs *sniff sniff*

Letting Her Go … As Good Mums Do.

67 thoughts on “Letting Her Go … As Good Mums Do.”

  1. My opinion has been sought often in George’s first three months, and It is a good feeling to be appreciated. But to offer or interfere would be parental suicide.

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  2. When I was in labour for the first time, my mother knocked on neighbours’ doors and cried. They must have thought she was mad! Mother-in-law said “ If I lived closer I would come and interfere.” I thanked God she lived over 100 miles away, otherwise she certainly would have. When I became a grandmother I realised my job was to babysit and not have any opinions on child rearing!

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  3. I’m sorry, I’m just seeing this!! By now you must be a grandmother! I hope all went well for mother and baby. I am not a grandmama, nor does it appear I will be one anytime soon, if at all, so I will have to live through your experiences. 🙂

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    1. Baby George arrived on st Patrick’s day. I sat by the phone for the 26 hour Labour and felt lost; lost but poised to leap into action wearing my super mum cape. I am very pleased they done everything beautifully by themselves. Which is why I have put away my cape and doubt it will be seeing action anytime soon. 😃 my job is done, now I relax into being Grandma duck! Thank you for coming. X

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  6. Oh Ellen, I understand your feelings so well, having gone through this exactly six months ago, with the birth of my first granddaughter. I have 3 girls and so far only one has produced a baby which was such an intense feeling for me. Parenting memories flashback at times but I’m now too busy enjoying every new stage of life in baby Emilia. You are definitely not alone in that feeling of letting go. Passing you a tissue as we speak and wishing you well. L<oved reading this by the way!!!!

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    1. I am pleased you came today and reassured me that My madness is normal. Xx Emilia is gorgeous and when the new baby arrives (was due on the10th) it will be loved too as much as the other grandchildren. Just a tiny bit differently from the love I will always have for my beautiful girl. #AlwaysMyBaby

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  10. You’re an old hand at this, Ellen. Take it in your stride 🙂 My eldest is the only one with a partner and they’re thinking about having a baby…sometime, so I have a while to wait before I go into meltdown, but you’re right about staying away until invited. For my youngest, we didn’t tell my mum I’d gone into the hospital until the baby was born. As it was, she arrived before I got home myself. I only had to get us both down the road, she managed the length of England, the Channel and half of France 🙂

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    1. Haha! Good ole Mum on a mission. I know when to step back … but I did not expect to feel so useless, my daughter is 38 and capable. I know she does not need or want Mum as it should be. 🙃

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        1. Yes it is what feels right. Let him experience it from the beginning. It does not stop a Mother from wanting to protect and take any pain away though. I think that is just part of being a Mother.

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  11. As a mother of sons, I have to say… it is almost as bad. You are not alone! But that middle of the night call, when you dive for the phone to hear those dazed, wondering tones with , “Mum…. it’s a baby!” make it all worthwhile 😉
    Best wishes to the new family.

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  12. Well Ellen I know how you feel. I have to grandsons. I held back, I behaved , I gave space. I hardly ever see my grandchildren…
    Mine are from my youngest son. You will fair fine you are the mums , mum it’s always easier that way.
    I know you will be a great grandma I wish you many happy times. Make the most 💜💜💜

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  15. as the dad here can I say… it’s exactly the same! Not a g’pa…yet and who knows but that first day at Uni for the first born… yuk. I wrote a poem then ‘the day you walked away from me’, sitting in a service station with my wife on the way home from dropping him at his hall… So goodness alone knows the state I’ll be in when/if either of them are ever expecting. Total mess of tissues and tenterhooks, I expect…

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    1. Now that comment at least makes me feel less silly. The sons both have children, and I was near; in case something went awry, (in the hospital car park) because, my men at least do not ask Mum to help

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  16. Hi Ellen, Lucky, lucky you… I have three, grown, great sons and they have lovely partners, BUT not one has a child – and won’t have – so I won’t have the pleasures that await you! But, then, I’m very lucky to have THEM. May he/she be born healthy and be wise and wealthy…Enjoy! xx

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    1. Thank you Joy, we are all having a surprise as they did not want anyone to know the sex. If he or she takes anything from me I hope it is the love of its Mum. X

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  17. I don’t think it matters how old they are, what wonderful things they have achieved, how well they are doing – they are always still our babies. As mine is a boy, I won’t experience quite what you are describing here so well but I can imagine how it feels.

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    1. No,do not underestimate your role. It is your type of Mothering. Just as significant, probably more so because you don’t have to. You love them because you want to. Xx😘

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  20. Its hard for me too. My youngest moved to a different state to attend law school. During the summers she has internships then she will most probably move to a different state to begin her career. Im so happy she is flapping her wings and I miss her everyday.

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    1. Yes I did and I thought that was tough. Low and behold that empty feeling … it returns just when you think it never will again. Once your baby always in the back of your mind … still my baby 😘

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  21. oh, congratulations! A new baby for the family – consider the baby a member for you to spoil – and not need to wake in the middle of the night, change diapers or soothe a cranky infant. you get all the fun parts now.

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  22. Join the club. Back in the “bandaids will fix most anything” days, I worked diligently to raise my boys to be independent. Now that they are, I often yearn for a moment to just be needed once again. I moved away; they didn’t.

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