She sat, on a low wall three bricks high. A wall that once was tall, now a crumbled remnant beside the mainroad. Her socks, wrinkled; one higher than the other. They offered no protection against the easterly wind; that bitter December day. Her ditsy floral skirt flicked against the already chaffed skin leaving pink welts. A grey knitted cardi hung from her shoulders, the sleeves clenched tight in her hands as she waited. Flat barren fields of East Anglia solid from the morning frost were inviting her gaze. That look, made me wince. Her eyes glassy and wide; unblinking, she looked … lost.
I noticed her many times as we flashed by on the way to Norwich. Each time we’d go I would see her, with pain in her shape; a stillness about her. Once we stopped at the village shop, while I waited to be served I asked her story. The postmistress said, ” She’s about forty, a local she is… not been herself since her daughter… Some says she were taken and others say different.” Slowly she shook her head as she stamped my letters. “Only six she was, her girl. Where she sits, it’s where she waited that day and every one since, for the school bus to bring her; she never came.”
On one occasion I stopped, pulled the car into the lay-by. I walked over and took a space on the rough wall alongside her, leaving a gap of two bricks between us. A respectful gap I thought. My eyes gazed across the flat land as hers did. “Hello, are you … Are you okay?” I felt a tug, a connection, fleeting though it was. She sat unmoved, undaunted by my presence. I felt the cold from her, saw the fogged breath, I could taste her sadness. An overwhelming urge to reach her enveloped me. Determinedly I unzipped my parka, putting it beside her I untied my wool scarf and wriggled my fingers free of the gloves. “Please, your skin is blue, take these, they’re for you.” I shouted, as the wind whistled by my ears and bit the end of my nose. The pile almost touched her chest; I began to tremble, a feeling of despair, soaked into me. Her eyes flickered as I put the clothes in her lap. “I don’t need them, can you hear me?” A pat to reinforce the point made her flinch, and with a straight back but without a second glance I returned to the car. She hadn’t moved as we passed her, the bundle propped on her lap, her glassy eyes staring forward. Alone, she sat.
That day, the clouds gathered so swiftly that everyone around the conference table stared at the snow. The CEO said “Due to the change of weather we will take a working lunch. The sooner I get you home the better.” I remember hoping she had put the clothes on. I wondered if anyone could relieve her… because of the weather. I couldn’t get her out my mind, her eyes, the liquid that refused to drop but puddled in her lids as if scared to fall. Her forlorn image haunted me.
On the return journey we stopped next to the wall. I remember the wipers swished, the flakes came hard and fast, but she wasn’t there. Pleased to think her in the warm I began to feel better.
In the spring my job took me once more to Norwich. We stopped at the place, next the road. Amongst the grass which grew in the crumbled brick, wedged between the cracks was bunch of brown withered flowers tied with a bright woollen scarf. The connection had forever made its mark, imprinted forever in my heart.
This was entered into the bloggers bash competition 2017. I am thrilled to say my story was the winner. I was pleased and honoured to have my work chosen. I hope you like my flash fiction as much as the judges did. Since I am reposting this story long after its first airing I thought I would add an update below.
My story touched many; or so it seemed. The tale also effected me, in a way I could not have predicted. I find myself searching for the sad, the homeless, the uncared for. I take time to sit with and make a connection. I have learnt … if we don’t walk by, ashamed, with our eyes dropped. If we look and smile give a drink or shake a hand. That connection gives back humanity. This year, 2018, I have not given presents to adults but used that money to make-up a ruck sack for a homeless person. I have so far not been able to give it out. In the past month of carrying it in the boot of my car, looking for someone in need. I have been unable to choose. How do you, at a drop in centre or a night shelter,or soup kitchen or at the Quaker house … How could I just pick one. How could I say this one is more deserving. My lips tremble and my chest aches as I write this. I have phoned the Salvation army to see if they will give it for me; my bag of hope. In the newyear The Husband and I will become volunteers because life is nothing if you can’t at least try. Merry Christmas.
Please leave your comments I would love to know if a piece of writing has altered your thinking or caused a change in you.Merry Christmas.
Wow, Ellen a wonderful , powerful read…A worthy winner..Well done xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the comment and merry Christmas.
LikeLike
Congratulations and what a deserving story to win. Beautifully done x
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is lovely to read x
LikeLike
You have me hooked I want to know more. What happened to her daughter? Has she herself now died?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for reading and taking time to chat. If you are still wondering my Flash worked. 😜
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can totally see why this won – what an awesome flash of fiction – loved the cadence and interaction of characters.
You are the real deal Ellen ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you kindly and i look forward to your return. 😉 have a super day.
LikeLike
I love the way two stories seem to get juxtaposed or at least involved, somehow.
There is something quite inevitable when it comes to others´lives… even if we try to change their reality or just subtly intervene, I tend to believe that (unless we play an important active role in their lives), the outcome might be pretty much the same one. In that sense, I´d say I am quite “deterministic”. Freedom is a personal thing; I think 😉 I guess your story might point out in the same direction (Just my thoughts).
I can see why this one won! 😀 Great brief story, Ellen
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aquileina thanks for coming and the comments. My gut wanted more, but the flash fiction is kept in the confines of a tough word count, that in itself makes you write tight . No words get wasted and it can make it powerful to read … or it fails miserably . I suppose mostly lives (unless you are a recluse) bounce unknowingly off others lives and we are oblivious to know what would have happened if we met a moment later or earlier. Mmm that alone encourages another story. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so very kind I hope you come to read occasionally and chill a bit. 😇
LikeLike
Lovely story and words. Congratulations!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for stopping by oh… and come again soon
LikeLike
Ellen, you have such a gift for creating believable characters and places. It’s no wonder this won. Congratulations!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So very nice of you to say *punches air* “Ellen stop with the grinning”” *small cough” thank you. 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! thank you
LikeLike
Amazing piece!! A big congratulations to you 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you I am pleased you enjoyed it.🙄
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fabulous, Ellen. The pathos reminded me of the Little Match Girl. Wonderful story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
An honour to be compared to Hans, I remember seeing the version Allumeette it was a virtual reality story animated, it is i believe still on U Tube many didn’t see what I seemed to when watching it. Thank you for your over generous but kind words. 😇 come back soon.
LikeLike
This is such an emotional story. My Mother comes for Bungay in East Anglia and I am currently writing about it through her eyes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Though I haven’t been to Bungay I have passed it and the landscape is the same… after all Norfolk is Norflok and has it’s distinctive look. I live in Suffolk so an adjacent county . Good luck with Mum’s memoirs and thank you for the wonderful comments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am humbled to have had my work chosen. I intend to read all the entries and hope to be writing and blogging again shortly.
LikeLike
Congratulations Ellen!!! I felt like I was there. This is a beautiful piece of writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
For coming and commenting thank you. For lifting my spirits with your words and connecting with me… I am thrilled.
LikeLiked by 1 person
💗💗💗You’re most welcome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is absolutely wonderful fiction and could so easily be fact. Your words and evocative images made my eyes well. Congratulations. You deserved to win.,
LikeLiked by 1 person
For someone who is known for talking…I am stuck for words ( if you can believe that) thank you, most humbly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely my pleasure. I meant every word.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very nice Ellen, much room for manoeuvre if you were to expand it into something larger. Flash fiction has never really grabbed me as mine always seem to go off into wanting more. I did write one or two for the blog battles…which I really ought to start doing again! Well done on winning too. I only heard about the bash not so long ago, never mind the competition!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A word limit curtails you but it makes it tight too, and Gary thanks for the read. The 9th of June 2018 is the next one.😇
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I found that in my piece The God Strain! Might have a go next year! Are there any themes or is it open apart from word count?
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are lots of flash fiction comps but all have varying counts and specifics, the Bridport flash fic comp tells you exactly what’s required and is a fantastic international competition, the bloggers one gave a word you had to use and a count. Once I started to look deeper “what is flash fiction” I soon got hooked. The adhoc which you will find is part of the Bath literary prize is both accessible and leads you to bigger things (catch them on twitter) read their site. Good luck if you get hooked let me know I would love to read yours.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Flash is a very different discipline to a short. I found the God strain on your site I’ve liked it to read when I have a moment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am nothing if I’m not helpful 😉I would love to read her when she’s done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very true, mind you writing buddies often are…they understand things!! I have also decided to re-theme my blog too. I rather think my own writing needs better placement than streaming off the blog roll. I’ve been looking back on it recently thinking “How mant projects are here!” To NaNoMoWri this year, or not? 🤔
LikeLiked by 1 person
My blog needs tending, as moving from Somerset to Suffolk has and is taking all our time. I hope to be back with a new post by July the first. After winning Nanowrimo once I am not feeling the call to do so again.But good luck if you do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great story! x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for coming and taking the time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent piece of flash. Well done. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
And a wonderful response you give! thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome Ellen… writing flash is fun… shall have to do some soon. You have inspired me! 🙂 x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow to inspire an inspirational blogger … I think I that has made my day. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh thank you so much, that is so sweet of you. xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jus sayin! X
LikeLiked by 1 person
what a lovely blogger you are *drops head to hide blushes*
LikeLike
Wow that was so powerful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like that thanks Lucy. X
LikeLiked by 1 person
A worthy winner, Ellen. Congratulations 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
My jaw is aching from the fixed grin but try as I might I can’t stop.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Thoughts by Mello-Elo and commented:
Meet Ellen Best and her award-winning story from the Flash Fiction competition at the #BloggersBash2017.
There’s a reason why she was chosen for first place; when the judges described her story as a cut above the rest and something that resonated within them, I just had to find it and read it and I am so glad I did. It’s not often I get chills from a flash fiction – with Ellen’s story, I certainly did!
Ellen was kind enough to share her beautiful story with us all and here it is:
LikeLiked by 2 people
No wonder it won! 😍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you I’m humbled.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😚
LikeLiked by 1 person
A touching story. I kind of got emotional.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will take emotional 😇 💪💙
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Kate McClelland and commented:
Aww Ellen, choked I was when I read this!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love making people emote… x
LikeLiked by 1 person
A tiny tragedy, Ellen, and beautifully written.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jane that means a lot to me. 😇
LikeLiked by 1 person
A poignant and captivating story
LikeLiked by 1 person
So pleased you read it. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Flash comment – brilliant and poignant.
LikeLiked by 1 person
*shyly smiles* thank you Bernadette.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful writing, poignant and warm.
LikeLiked by 1 person
George thank you for your presence in my humble wordy place.
LikeLiked by 1 person
this was sad and yet so painfully graceful, if there’s such an expression, to feel the sadness of another and want to offer comfort, seeing the others sadness and being so moved. like reading this from a distance and still feeling the liquid forming but the eyelids not daring to let it loose.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If my writing moves one person it is worth everyletter I place. Thank you please come again soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
i will, i left wordpress for sometime and I remember following you then stopped receiving your posts in my reader but somehow I was led back here again. Your words flow and have a tempo that carried me, I really liked this one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am glad you found me and read the connection. Sometimes the reader swallows posts whole…*whispers* I think it could be evil. 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
i know like cheeky goblins that cause havoc!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Poor lady. Trapped in her misery and possibly wondering what happened to her daughter. Good read, though it felt a bit sad.
I am shamelessly attaching a little link of me below 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for coming sometimes our actual… connections are sad but worth having none the less.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hit your link and replied. After I stopped waving hello to a beautiful lady, it was you how lovely to see and hear you.😇
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you my dear Ellen. Good to see you too. Thank you for listening 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You were very professional.
LikeLike
Wonderful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice of you to say. Thank you lady😇😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks for joining in Ellen; I haven’t read any competition pieces yet so can’t comment… for now!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for coming and acknowledging. This
LikeLiked by 1 person