Keeping My Sanity And Other Good Things.

https://imgur.com/t/aww/gdGxR5v
Thank you Dan Antion for finding the credit for this picture.

While our country tries to do this a different way (herd mentality). By hiding away the most vulnerable and letting the fittest go about their business. In hopes that they catch a mild dose, and recover. This will build some immunity, weaken the virus and hopefully we will have fewer deaths.

My oppinion is just that; my personal observations. Nothing, others have done so far has stopped it excelling or slowed the deaths, so someone needs to try a different route. Rather than criticising Boris and the science, I can at least see the reason for trying, after-all we are all blind, nobody has inside information, it is all trial and error. That’s out of the way now, how to do it!

We, the Husband and I have not stockpiled spaghetti, or even purchased an extra toilet roll. I refuse to be part of all the madness. If It is my turn to go … I will go being me. Not a character from some apoplectic bad B movie stealing from the mouths of great-grandmothers. We, after all, have facilities better than they had (see below).

Grandmas dunny

Worst case scenario we die, best case we have a quiet time until the sunshines and I arrive in a bikini ready body. All because, I did not stuff myself with contraban and I hopefully have Kondoed the whole house. I would have scrubbed and spring cleaned every inch. caught up on my reading list. Spent time on my Dream author course and finished editing the next best seller and booker prize winner.

Stand out from the crowd!

I know, I could slob on the couch, eating, moaning and watching box sets. But who wants to go out of this world being that person? What a chance we have, to get given some unexpected free time. Let’s make the most of it, read to your partner, give each other back massages, tell filthy stories or make new ones. If you are on your own, indulge in pampering your skin, make things, read or watch beautiful stories. Challenge yourself to learning a new skill. Walk around in a moisturising face mask and one for your hair. Sing and dance to your favourite music. We can make the best of the weirdness. Be kind, be safe and find some goodness inside of it all. Life is too wonderful to not. Xxx

What do you hope to get from your time at home? How will you cope? Leave me a comment.

Fears and Parinoia

Picture Prompt, copyright belongs to Roger Bultot

Graffiti covered barred windows held back his fears. His pantry stuffed to the brim. Melons, grapes, mangos, legumes … the list goes on. It began with Brexit.
The worry burrowed like a disease in his brain. He became panicked at the thoughts that filled his head; day and night. Not sleeping, it stole any semblance of rational

Family, neighbours, friends all tried, but still he hoarded all the things he could not grow. Convinced that only chlorinated Chicken and produce laced with corn syrup and squeezy cheese would be on the shelves after Brexit. Resulting in a slowly fermenting unappetizing  soup.


This is a Friday Fictioneers prompt   press to join in.

Hoaxes And Angry Penguins

GO HERE To read about the Hoax, And to see the picture source.

Follow this link to join in or read other responses to the terrible poetry competition.

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 2/29 – 3/6/2020

Beneath is The Sacrilege of mixing Rebecca Hilare Belloc With WH Auden.

The Funeral.

Stop the clocks cut off the telephone.

Prevent the dog barking

With a juicy bone.

A trick that everyone abhors

In little girls is slamming doors.

Silence the piano

With a muffled drum.

Slap that girl on the bum.

Bring out the coffin

Let the mourners come.

She would deliberately go

Slam the door like billy-ho.

To make her uncle Jacob start

She wasn’t really bad at heart.

He was my north my South

East and West.

My working week

My Sunday rest.

The funeral sermon

(Which was long

And followed by

a sacred song)

I thought love

Would last

Forever

I was

Wrong.

My Poetic explanation of The Great Austrailian Literrary Hoax.

A Sister wrote of her brothers passing

She sent his poetry for an editor to peruse

Not knowing the lot was a terrible ruse.

The Penguins were angry, who was the culprit

The Catholic church roared from the pulpit.

It bought down the wrath of the literary giant

When the hoax was revealed they became silent.

They had penned a collection of modernist rhyme

They made up a sister and gave him not much time.

Duplicitously they staged Ern’s demise, Graves disease

Both James McAuley and and Harold Stewart did freeze,

When eventually Ern Malley became more famous than they

His literary prowess like the phoenix raises its head still today.

Do follow the link If you do not know the story Chelsea Anne Owens explains it simply.

As the badge of honour suggests it was indeed a successful attempt at produduce a poem using the Hoaxers formulation .

Did I succeed? in my mix, to deliver the most terrible poem in your eyes? leave me a comment and I will get right back.

An Awful Anniversary Assembly.

Sixty years, well here’s to it, I raise a glass; into it, I spit.
Jerk my head to call him near, passed his glass feigned a cheer.
He swallowed with greed; saliva and all. I curl my lip; soon he’ll fall.

A drunk, a bully full of hate; tonight, they will see his colours
spread out on the dinner plate. I served tripe and jellied eels.
This food, both banal and grey; like him, had seen a better day.

I smile at those around my cloth. His cronies and the hangers-on
those that doff their cap, those that think him a super chap.
“Please sit” I cry. Having previously dressed his tripe
with little crushed garlic to disguise the arsenic’s taste.
It was with finality he gorged in ungentlemanly haste.

Today my cynical response to the terrible poetry prompt. It takes me to a sixtieth Anniversary gathering. I hope you enjoy. Please leave me a comment I simply love to talk.

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 2/22 – 2/28/2020
https://chelseaannowens.com/2020/02/29/the-weekly-terrible-poetry-contest-2-29-3-6-2020/

Morning Terror. #Horror

\nLooking

Looking out my back door I see the well, my eyes are drawn in its direction. I hear a clinking of the chain. A bitter taste hits my tongue, sticky liquid begins burning the back of my throat. I stare harder until the frosty air pinches my nose and makes my eyes water. I push my feet into the wellies left by the door. Again the chain shakes, a frantic determined rattle. With sweaty palms pressed into my dressing gown pockets, I place one foot on the deck and slowly creep forward.

My ears hurt at the clatter! The heavy lid begins to rise, only an inch, but enough to for me to see gnarled fingers at its edge. There’s a scream, then I realise it came from me. pyjama clad legs get cold, my wellingtons fill, which force fogged air to escape. I wobble as the  stench of urine made me gag! The lid slammed closed. Forward I go across the lawn, trembling, with each crunch that the morning frost makes underfoot. One more sudden rattle and fear for myself vanished. Faster I ran, and as the sound became louder my breath quickened. The rusted chain stilled as I put out my hand. I tugged the heavy lid upwards. Both hands grasped the rusted ring. It raised a crack. “Whose there? Can you push? I can’t lift, it’s too heavy.” I cried. I feel  veins bulge in my neck and blood pump in my ears as I force the lid, blood filled my mouth with each tug. Teeth biting down on flesh. Gritty rust particles bore into my hands biting, burying deep into my soft flesh.

I run to the shed, face wet with sweat and tears, grabbed a hoe to wedge its handle through the ring. With all my strength I pushed, until finally, it lifted. I leap back at the sound of a splsh, and scan the crystal clear water beneath. Bubbles broke the surface, then a sigh. Two Newts were the only occupants of our well. When John wakes he won’t be best pleased,  having to repair the hinges and mend the cracked oak lid. Frowning I looked once more into the abyss below, but there is nothing, just cold, clear, water, and a pair of Newts. As I turned to face the door I whipped  back my head, just in time to see deep rents in the underside of the lid begin to fill, until they vanished …

A close up of our Newt.




That was my response to the  #RagTagDailyPrompt which today was, ‘ looking out of my back door’    press here  to join in or read other fantastic tales.

Did I scare, did I paint the picture clear? Answers in the comments, please.
P.S. what would scare you?

Movie night.

I dropped, into the soft velvet sofa, pulled the leg rest over, and scrolled through until I found the film we chose. Well, we had a thumb war, and I won, as I would. I chose the Prodigy, lets see how my little brother and his nerdy pal enjoy a real horror.

Official poster of the film.

Tom, sat next to me, pushed his glasses up his nose and gave a squeaky laugh. I muttered ,”Freak.” And paused the credits until Jack arrived. A few minutes later I said, “We will watch the trailer until weeb features gets here.” I press play, stomp to the door and shout. “Gamer boy, hey, we are starting without you.” Then cozied back into my corner. I stretched the gum with my tongue and slid my eyes sideways without moving my head to see if Tom was scared yet. A screech made him jump and he grabbed my hand. I sat stock still. I could feel wind get in my eyeballs because they were stretched in shock. I didn’t blink or move, then a blob of saliva emerged from behind my teeth, and hovered slowly, it spilt over. I tried in desperation to suck it back; too late, it splashes. A wet patch began to spread at the end of my right breast. Unfortunately, I am bra less, and my nipple twitched at the change in temperature. This is awkward.

Watch a movie with your brothers nerdy mate, he gets scared, grabs my hand, I dribble. He now thinks I fancy him … my nipples harden which he thinks is my reaction to him holding my hand.

“Tom! sicko, let go!” He snatched his hand away, dropped it into his lap with a funny choking noise. That was when I knew. “Oh God” that was when I knew. He couldn’t take his eyes off my boobs, and his hand wasn’t big enough to cover the reason for the fear on his face. I grab the remote as I stand, and the screen goes black. No more movie, or comfy sofa, just painful silence. The sort you feel crawling up your neck, under your skin.

My slippers slapped hard against the oak floor as I ran to escape. “Shit,” I swear, as I click the door closed. I lean my forehead against it, still holding the knob. My breath slowed, my face cooled and my leg twitched.

Just then, Jack leaps the last two stairs. He went to push by me.”What’s up sis, too scary for ya, such a loser, wimp.” On my bed, in a bra and clean sweater, I have space to think. Movies will never be quite the same.

My first try at a YA piece, did it work? Practicing different styles, for a different audience is tricky.

This was a rag tag prompt press Here to join in or read.

Feed back is what I need.
Question, “did it read as if an adult (ole fossil) wrote it,  be honest, with your comment. Please?”